What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 02:32
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
So, i spoilt her more .
What is the most interesting question you can ask to get to know someone?
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
What does it mean to you to live a life that reflects biblical values?
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
When she asked me how she looked .
I had hoped to write a book about this .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Why is digital marketing important?
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The Best Dinner to Help You Poop in the A.M., According to a Dietitian - EatingWell
Was to survive, this bastard.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I never cut or harmed myself..
What was the worst decision you ever did?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Kate Middleton Shares a Rare Family Photo After Trooping the Colour - instyle.com
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Why do I get stressed when I go to bed?
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
He knew the spot.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But it wasn’t much.
Exactly When Apple Will Launch iPhone 17 And iPhone 17 Pro - Forbes
Would this be the day?
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Why would Joseph Smith say that polygamy was God's law?
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
What was your first experience like with a black man?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She wouldn,t have been !
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
This is how, and why children get BPD.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
We all went to grammer schools
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
All the time i was locked up.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I could never make a relationship work though!
I don,t even have a pension.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
What did i know ?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
She loved him until the end.
I said to her
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Especially a lifetime of it.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
He resisted the act ,that day.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
This is soul school!.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I was seconnd youngest,
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Put me off passion for life!!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She married twice! .
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I have no regrets .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I will be 64.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I was very sick at this time too.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
As i do to all so called friends.?
Ive learnt so much.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
(And it was in our own minds.)
I did it because my mum asked me too!
But ive been too sick for many years..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
But, we were locked up after school.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I think the readers, may guess!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Who then, do I blame.?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
We were not on the streets..
And i lived it daily.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I write beautiful poetry .
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
My family never makes their pension either.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
So whats the point in blame.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
It was going to be , some day.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I waited trembling.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She was in good health!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
One cannot live in the past .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I was 9 years of age.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I was scared of men, in general
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And who doesn’t know suffering?
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Why did i forgive my father ?
The only rule us 5 kids had .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
My life is so biszare .
I couldn’t, believe it.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Im still living with it.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Comes on , in middle age.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
They are buried together, in the same grave..
She found it foreign!.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.